Thank you to this amazing swan for her share:
I hosted the evening for my book group meeting on Friday, which, had I been still drinking, would have been extremely stressful for me- although I would have identified the stress feelings as excitement and anticipation for the evening. Normally, I would have felt excited (anxious) all day and these feelings would have been centred around the fact that I was going to be able to have a drink with friends and know they would all be drinking too.
On Friday I was completely unstressed, instead of madly cleaning all day, trying to occupy myself and make the time go more quickly until (I could have a drink) everyone arrived, I started a painting! I have wanted to do this for so long! Ok, it’s not brilliant, but so what? I had the most relaxing and enjoyable day and have found that painting really keeps me calm:)
The evening was a total success, for once, I managed to offer food and drinks around and everyone enjoyed themselves. In total there were 10 of us, the bottle count, when I cleared up -after driving someone home (what??!) was 5 empty bottles. I would dread to think what that may have been if I’d been participating, also, getting up to a tidy house, not retching all over the place and going to a craft fair made a very pleasant Saturday. Also, I mustn’t forget absolutely no paranoia and shame ridden texts to all my friends, apologising for my behaviour. Here is my very unfinished picture, which taught me a lot…