I still get up early Saturday and Sunday mornings, just for the simple fact of being able to enjoy the morning view across our little valley, to have the peace and quiet, but without the need to get going down the road quicksharp.
The cloud formations are a hundred shades of grey (hesitate to say fifty!) today and everywhere is dripping wet,but it is so good to wake up with a clear head. I don’t think I will ever get sick of this feeling of relief that I am sober. This gratitude that I am no longer at the mercy of alcohol. I associate so many bad things that have happened in my life and that I have done with being drunk and in many ways that is a healthy association for me personally, because it keeps that apprehension about alcohol close.
I read about people being nostalgic about the good times when they were partying and having that drink and I think, it just wasn’t like that, not for me anyhow. I associate drinking with pain. I think of loneliness, grief, fear and stress. I have no good associations with drinking. I have moved forward to forgiving myself and others which is a major step towards inner peace, but there is still pain.
The thing is though, that the longer the sober days, weeks, months and then years go on, the less the pain, and the greater the inner peace. It is worth getting over the ‘firsts’ to go on to the ‘seconds’ and then the ‘thirds’ as I and others are having now, it is so worth it. This is my third August without drinking and no one is more surprised than me!
To conclude, Louise Hay is a heroine of mine and I would like to share a recent post of hers on Facebook:
I have found that there is only one thing that heals every problem, and that is: to love yourself. When people start to love themselves more each day, it’s amazing how their lives get better. They feel better. They get the jobs they want. They have the money they need. Their relationships either improve, or the negative ones dissolve and new ones begin.
Loving yourself is a wonderful adventure; it’s like learning to fly. Imagine if we all had the power to fly at will? How exciting it would be! Let’s begin to love ourselves now.
Here are 12 Commandments to help you learn how to love yourself:
1. Stop All Criticism.
Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.
2. Forgive Yourself.
Let the past go. You did the best you could at the time with the understanding, awareness, and knowledge that you had. Now you are growing and changing, and you will live life differently.
3. Don’t Scare Yourself.
Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It’s a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure, and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.
4. Be Gentle and Kind and Patient.
Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.
5. Be Kind to Your Mind.
Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don’t hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts.
6. Praise Yourself.
Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.
7. Support Yourself.
Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.
8. Be Loving to Your Negatives.
Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So lovingly release the old negative patterns.
9. Take Care of Your Body.
Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need in order to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise do you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.
10. Do Mirror Work.
Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself while looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents while looking into the mirror. Forgive them, too. At least once a day, say, I love you, I really love you!
11. Love Yourself . . . Do It Now.
Don’t wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or find the new relationship. Begin now—and do the best you can.
12. Have Fun.
Remember the things that gave you joy as a child. Incorporate them into your life now. Find a way to have fun with everything you do. Let yourself express the joy of living. Smile. Laugh. Rejoice, and the Universe rejoices with you!