what would it feel like to drink again?

Had a major drinking dream last night. It came out of nowhere and was one of those ones that feel totally real, even to the point where I was writing to you guys admitting I had done it and reading the kind messages from people telling me to start over, and others from very upset and vulnerable people who were devastated I had let them down and started drinking again themselves.


All I did was pick up a glass of wine and drink it at a party, as simple as that. I picked the glass up and downed it like it was normal. Then had another. The feeling of ‘this is so easy to do’ was terrifying.


The feeling after the picking up of the two glasses of red of utter relentless disappointment in myself and the message I had sent to others by starting to drink after all this time was like a thousand cuts.


Then the relief on waking and of realising it wasn’t true hit the other end of the joy scale. I don’t know why these dreams happen, but I am guessing it is simply my brain reassuring me that if I restarted, the feelings would be unbearable, so don’t go there.

no drinking

Are drinking dreams a bad sign?

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From a swan


I wanted to share something with you. After years of struggling I’m finally achieving sobriety 100% of the time, it’s wonderful and my time is so productive now and people I haven’t seen in a while always comment on how well I look. Well anyway, last night I had a dream I had a wine binge last night. I woke up close to tears believing I had a hangover, and the familiar old thoughts of “oh god how am I going to cope with today?” And depression and sadness were crushing. And then I realised it was a dream!! So relieved. So grateful for my sobriety and the support that has made it possible. Sending hugs to anyone struggling – if even I can nail it, you can too – and it’s beautiful xxx

From another swan

I want to share my dream too. There was a bottle of gin lurking in the kitchen last night and I was sooo tempted to open it but didn’t. Had a terrible night’s sleep and dreamed I was really drunk and sick, had borrowed someone’s car, my phone had been stolen and I didn’t even know where I lived. And I was convinced I still lived with my Mum who has been dead for three years. It was so horrible that even when I woke up I still seemed to be in the dream and was convinced my phone had gone missing. I was in this car with other people and they were asking my address but I didn’t even know it.

Tipped the full bottle of gin down the sink this morning as I am sure the thoughts started me off. xx

And from this Swan…

I know quite a few SWANS have been having drinking dreams recently…I have shared this before but now seems like a good time to re post the link. This is an episode of The Bubble Hour that talks about drinking dreams. As you probably can guess I am a huge fan of these podcasts and they have been a huge part of my staying sober in the very early days and now. I still listen to one a day!

‘The Bubble Hour’s mission is to provide hope and inspiration to people who are wondering about their drinking, struggling to get sober, or who are sober and want to stay that way.

The concept of the “bubble” was something co-host Lisa N. came up with in her early sobriety. She recognized that her sobriety needed to come first, and as such she created what she call a “bubble” around herself to keep herself safe, and prioritize her recovery.

Talking with other recovering alcoholics was a big part of Lisa’s Bubble, but she also talked about the role of a good book, funny television shows, exercise, ice cream – anything that replaced the hole alcohol left in her life.

Pretty soon Lisa’s recovery community caught on to this concept, and she began creating “bubbles” for them as they struggled during difficult times of the day, events or simply adjusting to life in new sobriety.

People who had been sober awhile also recognized the importance of The Bubble, which essentially represents a ‘force field’ of safety and support you surround yourself with to remember you’re ARE NOT in this alone.

The Bubble Hour’s podcasts are a way for people to listen to real stories, interviews and conversations between real sober people, offering practical advice, humor and companionship, especially during the difficult hours of the day.

Is five o’clock a trigger for you? Did you usually drink while cooking dinner? Download The Bubble Hour podcasts, stick in some earbuds and listen to The Bubble Hour while you go about your day. Or riding in your car, or when you’re having a weak moment.

It is meant to be another tool we can use to comfort each other as we travel this path together.

The podcasts are the main focus of this page, but we will also be offering sober resources and websites, posting information and articles, or anything else we think may be helpful.

Please remember, no matter what, you are NOT alone.