Hello! Well, I haven’t been here for a while, but I thought I would say hello. Day 94 and I’m feeling proud of myself for that! I am full of disbelief – I knew that I was finding it easy, but there was a niggle of doubt as to whether I would be able to stick it. It is a massive achievement, given some of the shite I’ve had to deal with since I stopped drinking alcohol and would normally have turned to alcohol to help me deal with said shite. I can only pray that I continue to have no cravings or moments of weakness.
My mum made me feel awesome today (mums can be quite good at that most of the time but this was something else for me!) She has been very forthcoming with words of praise since I stopped drinking alcohol. ‘I’m really proud of you’, ‘You are doing so well’, ‘Keep up the good work’. We went out shopping today and my mum likes to go for a drink (usually on a Saturday, but Good Friday is fine too). While we were out, she asked me if I was ok with her and my dad having a drink – it was absolutely fine with me. I sat and sipped my elderflower pressė. Then, back at home later on this afternoon – out of the blue – she says, ‘Do you know, what you have done is better than anyone else in this entire family has been able to do and followed through with it?’ (Ooooh, this’ll be a long list, thought I!! Jokes) ‘What’s that mummy dearest?’ I replied, in the polite manner that we always talk to each other… ‘You recognised that you can’t handle drinking alcohol and you sought help and did something about it. No-one else in this family as EVER done that’.
I suppose I should point out here that my family are all big drinkers. BIG drinkers. Apart from the ones that aren’t and those ones don’t drink AT ALL. We’re an all or nothing family of drinkers, it would seem.
My uncle is coming to visit tomorrow and I actually can’t wait to tell him I’ve stopped drinking. He likes a drink and if the slightest thing sets him off when he’s had a few, he turns into a nasty drunk. Which is what happened to me (among other things) when I was drunk. I had already thought last week that I can’t wait to tell him that I can’t handle alcohol, that I suffer with depression and recognised that I had to make a change. My mum saying what she said today made me feel so happy. Happy that it makes her happy, happy that people recognise it’s no mean feat. And I also felt a pang of sadness, because I think my mum would have liked it if more of the family had been able to do the same a lot earlier on. I’ve achieved a major goal and I’m going to bloody well share it!! At least I know The Olds are proud, and that really matters 😉
Hope you all have a peaceful Easter, feel proud of your achievements and don’t be afraid to share them with your loved ones. Alternatively, grab a ladder, climb up to the roof of your house, and SHOUT ABOUT IT!!
Toodle-oo for now xxx